Childhood is a time of wonder, imagination, exploring the world and making sense of things. But the flip side of having a strong imagination can mean having a hard time distinguishing between real and imagined threats. Critical thinking, perspective-taking, emotional control, and flexible thinking are all cognitive abilities still in the process of developing in children’s brains. What does all that mean for Halloween themes, costumes and stories? It means Halloween can be awesome and fun and exciting… and sometimes really scary!
In this article, we discuss some common childhood fears associated with Halloween and explore developmentally appropriate strategies to help children feel calmer and more confident this spooky season.
The dark. Darkness’s ability to hide things from view makes it a perfect backdrop for imaginations and worries to run wild. There’s an instinctual basis for this as well since our brains would prefer to see and make sense of everything around us. Here are some strategies for a child who is afraid of the dark, particularly for trick-or-treating:
- Find alternatives – Consider options that allow kids to celebrate Halloween during the day or inside. This allows children to enjoy those exciting elements of costumes, running around, and gathering goodies without worrying about what they can’t see.
- Create light – Helping children to find and focus on the light around them can be a way to redirect their thoughts. Wear glow sticks and bring plenty flashlights. Stay in well-lit neighborhoods and only approach homes with a porch light on.
Scary masks. For children, the lines of reality versus make-believe are incredibly blurred. Their wonderful imaginations can have a really difficult time understanding that a scary mask is just a mask with a person behind it instead of an actual scary creature. They don’t have the cognitive processing abilities yet to reason their way to what’s real and what’s fake, especially during emotionally charged moments. Here are some strategies that work with your child’s developmental abilities in understanding Halloween masks:
- Explore and create masks together. Before Halloween, get your child very familiar with masks. Visit the masks section of the story, make masks, and put masks on and off in a safe, well-lit space. Playfully engaging your child in this process helps them build an understanding of what masks are and how they work.
Monsters. Similar to how children’s imaginations can create characters, storylines, and imaginary friends, they can also create scary monsters. Again, this is a child’s process of making sense of their world and processing thoughts. As adults we can calmly and reasonably say, “Monsters aren’t real, there’s nothing to worry about,” but that might not translate effectively for a child. While comforting and reassuring children that they are safe is always important, here are some strategies to prepare them so their imaginations learn how to fight off or transform monsters all on their own.
- Use that imagination. If your child’s imagination has created a monster, help them use their imagination to conquer that monster as well. This could look like role playing, getting to know the monster and finding out it’s not so scary, or helping your child imagine their own strengths and protective factors that keep them safe. Talk through and practice these things with your child when they are calm, as this is when their brain is best able to think creatively about alternative story lines.
- Transform the monster. If your child has a specific fear or monster, encourage them to describe it. Drawing, naming, and turning their fear into something more concrete moves it out of the shadows and onto paper. This can then allow for conversation about the monster, who it is, where it came from, and possibly a process of dealing with, taming, or calming the monster.
Fear is a normal and developmentally appropriate childhood emotion, but your response can play a key role in helping your child feel safe and move through their fears.
