What is perspective-taking and why does it matter?

Seeing your child show empathy is an amazing feeling. Maybe you’ve witnessed your child give a hug to a crying peer or create a card for a sick classmate, and felt that swell of pride in your chest. Within that same day, you may have also watched your child scribble all over a sibling’s art project or cut in front of other kids in line for the slide – seemingly giving zero regard to how anyone else is feeling.

Empathy and perspective-taking are continuous works-in-progress, and children are learning from a young age how to understand and react to their own thoughts and feelings, as well as those of others.

Perspective-taking and empathy are slightly different, mainly in that while empathy is the ability to understand and consider how someone else feels, perspective-taking is considering someone else’s point of view. In this article we’ll focus on perspective-taking, as it is crucial in children’s developing ability to effectively communicate with others and navigate conflicts and misunderstandings.

Perspective-Taking and Emotional Regulation

Perspective-taking is also heavily tied to our emotional regulation state, and is therefore more difficult when we feel angry, frustrated, stressed, or anxious. This is because in these “fight or flight” moments, our brain’s ability to process information and think flexibly is diminished in order to prioritize quick reactions and survival. Therefore, like many social skills, perspective-taking is not entirely instinctive or accessible, and should be taught and modeled explicitly to children. This is especially true of children with ADHD and ASD or kids who may have additional difficulty with social awareness, flexible thinking or emotional regulation.

Perspective-Taking Activities and Tips for Teaching

Here are some easy and engaging ways you can teach and practice perspective-taking skills throughout your everyday routine. Please note that these skills will vary with development. Early elementary children will primarily be demonstrating the ability to recognize different thoughts and emotions in others, while later elementary children will begin to consider others’ perspectives and feelings.

Note: In the beginning, these activities are less effective during a moment when a child is dysregulated. Here are some ways to help your child return to a calm state before attempting to discuss how perspective-taking could be applied to a particular situation.

1. Recognizing Emotions

The first step in teaching perspective-taking is the ability to recognize emotions. When children are able to read facial expressions and body language associated with varying emotions, they can begin to understand how a peer may be feeling. You can practice helping your child recognize the emotions of others by:

Talking about feelings in media – While watching your child’s favorite show or reading a book, discuss what the characters may be feeling and ask your child questions to check for understanding. That girl looks sad. She has tears in her eyes. How do you think [character] feels right now? How can you tell?
Naming your feelings or others’ – State your emotions verbally in front of your child when possible. It can also be helpful to over-exaggerate your facial expressions (while modeling regulation) to help your child make connections. You can also model recognizing emotions in your child or others around you. You look sad about losing your toy. Would you like a hug? Your sister appears to be upset. She may need some space.

2. Considering Other Perspectives

The next step in teaching perspective-taking is helping your child recognize that there is more than one perspective. It’s natural for children only to see a situation from their perspective or only acknowledge their feelings. It takes time and practice for them to consider others and understand that there’s more than one story taking place. Here are a few ways you can help your child understand this concept:

Go cloud gazing – Lay on the ground and discuss the different shapes and images you notice in the clouds. Point out that although you’re looking at the same cloud, the shapes you see are different.
Look at optical illusions – Show your child a few examples of ambiguous images, pictures that can be interpreted in different ways depending on how you look at them. For each image, discuss what you see in the picture, and keep track of how often you see something different.
Learn about other cultures – Use books and videos to educate your child on other cultures and ways of living (i.e. living in Beijing, living on a farm). Explain that every family has different routines, food, forms of entertainment, beliefs, etc.

3. Walking in Somebody Else’s Shoes

A final step in perspective-taking is learning how somebody’s viewpoint may influence how they feel and act. We often call this “walking in somebody else’s shoes.” This concept is more complex and may take longer to learn, but here are a few tips to help.

Role-play scenarios – With your child, act out scenarios demonstrating varying perspectives of the same story. For added fun, you can each wear different shoes for different roles. After each role-play, explain how that character was feeling, what they were experiencing, and why they may have acted the way they did.
What could you do if…? – Practicing perspective-taking in a moment of high emotion will likely be difficult. To help them build this muscle, brainstorm together how you could use perspective-taking in various situations. What could you do if you see a classmate crying? What could you do if your friend yelled at you? What could you do if you know your sister had a bad day?

Want more activities to help you child strengthen their perspective-taking skills? Check out these printable family-friendly activities from Mightier’s Perspectacles Skill Pack.