We all experience several transitions throughout the day, from home to work/ school, from working on a project to eating lunch, from playing to getting ready for bed. While switching tasks or activities is a normal part of our everyday lives, transitions can often be difficult for children with ADHD or ASD. 

Do you find yourself repeating your request for your child to stop doing one thing and start doing another? Do these requests often end in refusal or outbursts? These struggles with transition can be very frustrating, especially when they’re happening repeatedly. Let’s start by digging into why kids with ADHD and ASD struggle with task switching. 

Why Transitions Are Hard

Naturally, some daily transitions are going to involve switching from a task that is more desirable to less desirable, like turning off the iPad to clean up or ending story time to go to bed. Transitions to a less desirable activity are going to be difficult for any child, but for children with ADHD or ASD, it may be harder for them to regulate feelings of sadness or anger when asked to switch tasks. For kids with ADHD or Autism, neurological differences in the brain make it difficult to name and process emotions and control impulsive reactions to those emotions. Also, they often experience emotions more intensely, lending to challenging behaviors and making it more difficult to calm down. 

For kids with ADHD, challenges with attentional control can also make transitions hard. Individuals with ADHD may hyperfocus on a specific activity, making it very difficult for their brain to move away from the task at hand.  

Follow these steps to help your child switch activities without the struggle. 

1. Keep a Routine

Often, children manage transitions better when they are part of a normal routine. This is especially true for children with ADHD or ASD, who can become dysregulated when their routine unexpectedly changes. As often as possible, attempt to follow similar steps and timing for daily activities and tasks, including play time, meal times, chores, and bedtime.

Of course, life is messy, and there will be plenty of time you’ll need to ask your child to switch tasks unexpectedly. Additionally, as your child grows, they’ll naturally need to make additions and changes to their routine. When following the familiar isn’t an option, try some of the tips below.  

2. Identify Triggering Transitions

To help your child best prepare for tough transitions, it’s helpful to know which are the most difficult for them. Think of a full day with your child and write out the daily transitions that often lead to challenging behavior. Is it going to school, having to turn off a show, getting ready for bed? Write these moments down. You likely won’t be able to predict every triggering transition (more on that later), but being aware of which activity switching is most difficult for your child will help you both be more prepared. 

Try to understand the source of why the transition is difficult. It could be that your child simply doesn’t want to end an activity or do the activity you’re asking them to, but the reason could also be something in the environment that they’re having a hard time communicating. Maybe they don’t like brushing their teeth because the sensation of the toothbrush is uncomfortable, or they don’t like going to school because it’s too loud. In these situations, sometimes small changes (U-shaped automatic toothbrush, headphones) can make a big difference. 

3. Let Them Know What To Expect 

For children who struggle with switching activities, preparing them for the transition is key. Before your child even begins the activity, clearly share everything they need to know. For example, “You can play iPad for 10 minutes. I’m going to set a timer. When the timer goes off, I need you to put down the iPad and wash your hands for dinner.” It may also be helpful to front-load natural consequences, “If you can’t turn off the iPad when it’s time, we won’t be able to watch the movie tonight.” 

Many children also benefit from visual supports such as a first/then board or a visual schedule. These ensure that your child understands what’s expected of them when transitioning to a less preferred activity. It can also motivate them to complete a less preferred activity if they know what’s coming next, “After you brush your teeth, we can read your favorite story.” You can find downloadable visual supports on the internet or simply use a dry erase board to draw or write what’s next. 

Give your child options where possible to help them feel more in control of a difficult transition. For example, “After dinner, you need to brush your teeth and put on your pajamas. Which do you want to do first?” or “I know going to bed is hard. Would you like to listen to an audiobook or soft music to help?”

4. Use a Timer and Give Reminders

Using a visual timer is often helpful for children to know how much time they have left. For kids who don’t yet read time, be sure to use a timer with a colored disk that makes it visually clear as time is decreasing. Let your child pick out their own timer, whether online or physical. Give them the option of setting the timer themselves. These little actions give your child more independence and sense of control and make the timer a positive object. (If timers are triggering for your child, use verbal and alternative visual cues instead.) 

In addition to the timer, give verbal reminders at intervals throughout the activity. For a 10-minute activity, you might give a reminder for 5, 3, and 1 more minute. As you are communicating expectations and reminders, be sure you have your child’s attention. This may look like making eye contact, putting a hand on your child’s shoulder, or having them give a response to be sure they understand. 

5. Respond Appropriately

When it comes time for your child to transition, it’s important to give an immediate and appropriate response. If your child ends the more preferred activity without any challenging behavior, give positive attention (“You did such a great job coming inside for dinner right when the timer went off!”). If it’s a transition they’ve been really struggling with, and they do it successfully, it may be appropriate to give a small reward. Attempt to keep this reinforcer as natural as possible. For example, if your child typically has a hard time with the morning transition of getting ready and getting in the car, but does so successfully, allow them to choose the music you listen to! 

On the other hand, if you’ve provided expectation, visuals, and reminders, and your child refuses to transition or has an outburst, how you react can have a major impact on how they respond during future transitions. 

1. First, these moments can be frustrating, but do your best to stay calm, as this will help model it for your child. If possible, remove the preferred activity. 
2. If your child is emotionally dysregulated, you can acknowledge their feelings (“I know it’s hard to leave the playground”), but refrain from giving their behavior too much attention. 
3. Next, if you are able, help your child regulate with the calming strategy that works best for them (breathing, counting, etc.) by modeling it for them. If you don’t know what calming strategy works best for your child, try some of these! 
4. Finally, if you presented a consequence beforehand, it’s important to follow through on that consequence. Again, negative consequences should also be as natural as possible (“When you don’t get ready for bed when I ask, we have less time to read stories”).

Self-Regulation is Key

Children are going to get upset when they’re asked to stop doing something they enjoy. It’s natural! For children with ASD or ADHD, these feelings can be intensified and last longer. The goal is not that your child doesn’t feel sad or angry when they have to stop doing something they enjoy, but that they have the self-regulation skills to manage their emotions and follow the requests they were given. 

Kids with ADHD and ADD often have a harder time using self-regulation strategies in the moment of feeling upset. The best way to help them learn how to calm themselves is by having them practice the skill when they’re not in an elevated emotional state—that’s where Mightier comes in! Mightier is a game-based mental health tool that helps kids learn and practice calming strategies as they play. Over time, these regulation skills become automatic and easier to apply in real situations, such as a tough transition!