Emotional regulation skills help children and people of all ages control their emotional reactions. Children who learn these tools at a young age are better equipped to take on difficult emotions and successfully navigate life’s challenges. Like other skills, kids will have to do a bit of exploration and determine what works best for them. Here are a few skills that kids can include in their “emotional self-regulation toolkit.”
Name the Feeling
You may have heard the phrase “you have to name it to tame it.” Kids who can recognize and tell you how they’re feeling are better able to manage those feelings and receive the right kind of help when they need it. Parents can work with their young children to build an emotional vocabulary of feeling words that will help them understand and express their different emotions. This skill may be difficult, but understanding how your child feels is crucial to helping them move past the hard feelings. If your child needs a little extra support, try giving them a sentence with blanks they can fill in (e.g. “I feel _______, when _______”). Using an emotion meter can also help kids identify how they are feeling and improve emotional regulation.
Notice your Body
Kids can also practice tuning into their bodies and noticing physical sensations that accompany certain feelings. Practicing self-awareness will improve children’s understanding of how their emotions impact their bodies. Sometimes, simply noticing how you’re feeling is enough to move past it. This body map is a fun way for kids to show where in their body they feel “hot” and “cold” emotions. Children can also become dysregulated because of the sensory input around them. A sensory-based approach can help a child explore the types of sensory input that are either calming/regulating or overwhelming/dysregulating for them.
Pause
Kids can learn to press their internal pause button before reacting to difficult emotions, just like they would press pause when watching a movie. This coping skill can prevent tantrums and help kids with self-control. Putting space between an emotion and a reaction allows children the opportunity to consider their emotional state and decide what comes next. This pause can be a good time to try another regulation strategy or consider what emotions are present. Mightier’s Battery Blitz board can help players practice strategically pausing and paying attention to their “battery charge” (aka energy emotional state) as they play.
Use Relaxation Techniques
Sometimes intense emotions, such as anxiety or anger, can feel out of our control. This can be especially true for children, whose brains are still developing. These intense emotions can affect thoughts and behaviors, leading to meltdowns or other forms of dysregulation. While we can’t always control our feelings, we can control our actions, which often in turn helps us feel better! For example, taking breaths when angry or listening to a favorite song when sad can alter the body’s reaction and, in turn, even change the emotion. These relaxation techniques, or coping skills, can help us with our emotional control. Check out five quick and easy relaxation techniques for kids here.
Self-care
Self-care represents the things we do regularly to stay healthy and balanced. When we are at our best, it’s much easier to stay in control of our emotions. Remember, kids learn a lot about how to deal with things from their role models. If you prioritize your own self-care and mental health, it sets a great example. Parents can help their child come up with their own self-care list of things that help them feel better (i.e. dance parties, snuggling a favorite animal, good sleep, etc.) and incorporate them into their child’s routine. These activities can build self-regulation skills into a child’s daily life to help manage stress and prevent dysregulated behaviors.
Want another tool for your child’s emotional self-regulation toolkit? Play games! In a study of families using Mightier, 87% of families saw behavioral improvements within 90 days. Start a free trial and see for yourself!
